Political campaigning meets Brave New World: The Rominator 2008.
Be afraid....
If you've wondered what was going on under that perfectly coiffed hair, a confidential informant from the Romney campaign has revealed the secret to his candidate's ability to rapidly change positions according to the audience he is speaking to: The Rominator 2008.
Scientists working for one of his many far flung global companies tested the
prototype just after Romney tossed his hat into the ring, according to the
source who spoke on condition of anonymity. The source explained that a team of
researchers enters demographic information and opinion polls from each stop
Romney will make on the campaign trail the next day. After a few hours under
the Rominator 2008, the robo-candidate is programmed to perfectly articulate
what the best research money can buy says those voters want to hear.
Hans Mittengrabben, a senior engineer for the project discounted claims that the
Rominator 2008 is a deceptive campaign tool. "On the contrary," Mittengrabben
said, how will voters know he is the right candidate if he does not adjust his
position according to the appropriate metrics of the moment?"
A group of Ron Paul supporters has sought an injunction against further use of
the device claiming it infringes on their patent rights. Iman Utjob, head of the
group said the device was taken from their compound in the dark of night by
commandos dressed in business suits. The commandos made their escape in
helicopters of an unknown design before Mr. Utjob and his aids could recover the
device, Utjob told the source.
Once the existence of the Rominator 2008 was discovered, we felt an obligation
to inform voting Republicans everywhere of the source of Romney's ability to
convince people he is actually a conservative. However, our editors are
skeptical as story was filed by our tepid reporter, QuiverDaddy, who has a
reputation for adapting facts to fancy and calling whatever comes out,
"commentary."
The real story: Linked from Drudge.
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